Fiona’s Wild Honey Logo

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Wild Honey, hosted by Fiona, a women's mentor and transformational facilitator with a reputation for her bold and unconventional approach.

Fiona describes herself as a "truth-speaker, activator, no BS-taker, wild, sensual, & loving leader of the unapologetic feminine." Her passion lies in awakening and activating unapologetic feminine energy, guiding women to reconnect with their bodies, sexuality, voices, pleasure, and purpose.

It felt strangely fated, then, my bleed seemed to know 2 months in advance that I’d be working with Fiona.

My experience began at a workshop Fiona co-hosted in London a month earlier. Fiona described my experience as “ripping the band-aid off”. I had a moment where she stood opposite me, holding space for my freeze trauma state as uncontrollable tears streamed down my face. I felt so much pure energy being held and her power as this unapologetic wild woman. A few days later, I was following her on Insta. 

Insta Stories showed me a pop-up of Wild Honey leading me to send her a message to acknowledge her words. These words penetrated me in a way where I just knew how powerfully special this retreat would be. In that moment, it was an example of the feelings I hope my writing will invoke in people.

Initially, I had no intention of attending                                                                                  I just wanted to share how powerful her words were                                                          Somehow, as it always does, everything fell into place and that was it, I was on the list. 

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Days later, upon checking my app, there it was: my period was due on the first full day of the retreat. My cycle, “friend & foe,” often coincides with significant events. Now, I understood why I had been irregular the previous month - it was aligning with this retreat.

The Monday before the retreat, without a yin class, I agreed to a Rapé ceremony, a traditional Amazonian ritual using sacred tobacco. Holding the medicine, I confessed to the person sitting opposite me, "my little girl is coming up." The theme – "it wasn't your fault."

Friday arrived, travel day but work first. I sat at the back of the exam hall watching students hunched over papers, writing away before their time was up. Meanwhile, I’m there crying, also hoping no one puts their hand up for more paper or a toilet break because I was in a fuzzy-like state - like when your hair catches a balloon. I was full-on crying while a download was coming right through me of a healing session I had a few years back where my sister travelled to bomb drop a bit of news. Realisations and long-held truths resurfaced, along with a surge of anger at her mic-drop disappearing act.

This nugget of insight emerged after mentioning my sister during the Monday ceremony. Thankfully, no student bothered me as I cried and wrote furiously in my journal.

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A few of us decided to travel together from Kings Cross. One of the ladies messaged me to say she was wearing a pink cardigan. I stood up, saw her, and waved. In her recognition that I was the person she was looking for, I felt like I knew her. This was followed by Allie, another attendee who'd flown in from Eastern Europe specifically for this retreat. I knew that girl – I'd been that girl, and I still am. The only missing piece was Persephone, and the train to whisk us away.

From our pre-chat exchanges, I knew I wanted to be friends with Persephone. I didn’t know how or why, but I just wanted to be her friend. I was excited to meet her and disappointed when I couldn’t sit next to her on the train ride.

We didn’t talk much during the 15 min taxi ride, just a few one-liners. When we arrived, Pink Cardigan paid with full trust that we would settle later. She even arranged the return journey, giving my PA brain a break.

One by one, the others arrived, filtering into the kitchen for tea and the usual awkward introductions: names, how we found Fiona, and prior experiences with her. "What am I doing here?" I thought, surrounded by more silence than any group setting I'd ever encountered. It felt peaceful, yet unsettling.

Opening circle time. I sat in the middle. Persephone spoke second, her emotions igniting a spark among us. We connected, we were all in. As she took a moment to pause and breathe so did we. It was then we united in sisterhood. Every single woman’s energy line collated towards Persephone and our respective concrete surfaces began to show cracks. As each woman spoke, my throat tightened, a surprising calmness accompanying my tears. I knew what I wanted to say, or so I thought.

Pink Cardigan’s turn

BANG!

She said what?! My surface crack got bigger, as it did for many others, the tears became heavier. I couldn’t believe what she had said. Her words hit me like a bombshell, mirroring a part of my experience I've not heard someone else share before. Not only that, but I hadn't planned on bringing it up at all. She'd unknowingly spoken my truth. She threw the game for me. 

A few more shares, it was my turn. I spoke the unspoken, the connection that had drawn me to Pink Cardigan. Her introduction explained why I felt I knew her. I stared at the floor, forgot to introduce myself and blurted out my thoughts to finish quickly.

Every woman shared something I connected with, explaining why I was there. My fellow Kenyan sister was next. She has this innocence to her and captured me by her bravery and how much she was willing to find a way to work through her stuff, her experiences, and her trust. Like 80% of the women, she had never heard of or met Fiona before signing up, and a handful of these women had never even been on retreat before. The power of that itself is so profound.

Beside her was my brown sister, who understood suppression – cultural, societal, and internal. Every woman there reflected a part of me – past, present, or future.

This was only the first meeting. What awaited us? The itinerary offered only session times, it was all a mystery. Yet, there was an air of calm. Fiona must have woven her zen-like magic through the venue, our rooms, and even the water. When she did prep us for an upcoming session, the physical pre-jitters were non-existent.

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One of the things Fiona asked us to pack was a mirror. I knew, I just knew what that was for. I don’t even own a handheld mirror, so when I was having a pre-bleed packing meltdown I poured myself into the unmet group chat and asked Fiona to bring one. Her mirror now has the reflections of my pussy in it.

The mirror showed me the beauty of roses which transported me to a place of guilt, shame and wrong-ness. All narrated by a calm inner voice.

It can be hard to argue or debate when the calm voice comes out. Speaking with Fiona, she helped me to see that comfort will disguise itself to keep you from your edge. As she was giving me guidance, I realised everything had stacked up for me. Not only was I admitting that I wanted or deserved desire, sensuality, and pleasure by just being there, I was also pussy gazing in front of other women as well as being on my period as a practicing free bleeder.

The idea or effects of pussy gazing didn’t faze me as much as the breast massage session. It's said that your arms are an extension of your heart, your fingers have thousands of nerve endings, and the heart connects the throat and womb. I sobbed the entire time and hung a shirt over my head so I could fully surrender to ugly cry face.

That session was painstaking for me. I didn’t share and sat behind, sniffling, which led to more crying. Persephone sat next to me and asked if I wanted to be alone. I fell into her and broke entirely. She knew. The woman I wanted to be friends with knew I needed her to break through to that next level of healing. I'm grateful she listened to her intuition and came over. For whatever reason, I couldn't access that feeling without her.

We then, along with six other women, flow danced it out barefoot on the grass. I moved through the feelings and emotions, the dense energy that had been building up since the beginning of my week.

In the next session, DJ Dub walked in and had to choose whether to sit with me or someone else. To my surprise, she chose me. Up until this point, I hadn't had a chance to speak with her except to apologise for leaving my laptop on her bed the night before, not realising she was sharing a room with us. In fact, I later found out she had been hating on me, only to discover after we partnered up.

I had to receive first, so I reluctantly agreed. I shared some things, and she knew I was sensitive, especially after the breast massage earlier that day. I sat directly opposite her, and it took me a few minutes to lift my bra off, tears streaming down my face. I lay on my front, she touched my back, and I cried. She checked in, and I alternated between nodding and crying. I then decided to push my edge further from that morning and asked if she would massage my breasts without a cover-up. She agreed instantly. She touched them, I felt nothing. She rubbed them, I felt nothing. She massaged them, I felt nothing. We had a little chat and a giggle in between, and then it was my turn to give.

DJ Dub decided to meet me, choosing to touch a few of her edges after seeing me do so. I agreed to her requests, and we began. As I stroked an area of her body that caused her pain, she allowed herself to go there. She felt it and vocalised it, and when she did, I silently screamed ‘YES’ for her! From a scream to sobbing to weeping, she asked me to give her and that particular area a compliment. I did, which turned into a joke and hysterical laughter between us. She moved through the grieving stages, leading us to the next area she wanted to work on. She asked me to witness something, and I did. We then moved to releasing neck tension until the end of the ceremony.

DJ Dub and I became BFFs after that session. We sat next to each other for the remaining meals. We held each other through further moments of grief. She told me why she was mad at me, only to find out she had got the wrong person entirely!

We stripped down in a field, then jumped into the hot tub together, discussing our respective pussys while pointing them out to each other. I sat naked in the hot tub while DJ Dub axed naked through pieces of wood to keep the hot tub alive for later. We continued our lessons in giving and receiving, exploring the masculine and feminine dynamic, and made plans for the future of our friendship. Interestingly, she told me she knew we were going to be friends when I shared in the opening circle that my throat began to close up, as she felt it too.

I touched every edge except one, the photo shoot. I trust I will one day. Instead, I decompressed by pussy bathing on the lawn with Zara who I shared my first eye-gazing practice with. We exchanged insights into our worlds and really saw each other with deep compassion. This was my first eye-gazing experience where I was in a situation where both parties deeply saw and understood exactly where the other person was coming from regardless of our 23 year age difference.

My second eye gaze experience was the beautiful Mama Rose and her unborn child. Rose’s eye gaze with me was literally how you want a mum or family member to not only look at you but where you know there is no doubt in your body, mind and soul that you could say anything and everything and it wouldn’t faze her. Baby Rose is definitely going to have one of the most grounding, free-living, holistic upbringings that’s for sure. Mama Rose was also the gift maker for the retreat, creating a variety of natural blends to assist us each with our sensuality and pleasure.

Other connections blossomed during mealtimes. The musician and I delved into conversations about dating and living situations. Her insights unexpectedly helped me embody a version of myself aligned with my current location, something I have been disconnected from for some time. Seeing Reshma in the group chat, I was instantly struck by her stunning aura and her 70s style. Her presence mirrored a family member I once knew, creating a sense of acceptance and safety during the retreat. While our conversations didn't involve healing directly, her mere presence was profoundly calming.

Ellie… Ellie just somehow brought it all together effortlessly. It wasn’t about what she did or said—she just had a certain presence. Later, I realised how her job as a book editor mirrored her role at the retreat. She was integral, working behind the scenes, subtly weaving everything together. Her presence was the invisible thread that held our stories together at the retreat and in life.

Lastly, Alice became my timekeeper, the only woman wearing a manual watch. She grounded me in reality, keeping me connected to the present while allowing me to explore the depths of my inner world. I named her Alice because of her beautiful blonde, wavy hair, reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland.

Regardless of the things we did and didn’t face, it was our closing that touched us the most. The tunnel of receiving and accepting. Our initiation. The set-up of it was us stepping forward into our new selves, leaving the old behind while listening to whispers of positivity and encouragement.

Although only a weekend getaway, merging with these women and Fiona’s energy was as if I had known them for a lifetime. It was peaceful and at times painful lesson where we brought genuine light and belly laughs to the mix. The power of connection emerged as a core theme of the retreat. Sharing experiences and vulnerabilities in a supportive environment fostered a sense of deep friendship amongst the participants. For me, it was a reminder of how everything is connected, things are working for you inc. our cycles, trusting in the process and embodying what the word sisterhood really means.

While this approach may not resonate with everyone, for those seeking a transformative experience, Fiona's retreat provided a powerful and undoubtedly safe opportunity for self-discovery.

To experience sisterhood: 

Insta: @fionamccross

Mama Rose’s holistic gifts:

Insta: @artemisrose_aromas

*Names have been changed for the purpose of this piece. 

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"Ex homeless guy, ex-drug addict trying to setup my catering business and get my burger van business up and running"

Paul became a follower of @streetlifestories_ and upon clicking on his profile I saw the above and had to message him.

Our chat took place over Zoom which he took from a friend’s house for the Wi-Fi connection. Despite his experiences, he comes across super upbeat and has the self-confidence that I admire in fulfilling his traveling burger van dream.

Paul became homeless for a variety of reasons and steered away from talking about the past much. The conversation always came back to the present or future with a sense of proudness in getting to where he is today. His street time began in Brighton in 2015 where he also enrolled on a catering course, passing levels 2 & 3. After 2 years, he was housed in Brighton, but he found the hostel badly run and was keen to get out. With little support for his living conditions, he left Brighton to move up north, leading him to get a room in a shared house. Shared housing is similar to University halls – lock on the bedroom door, share everything else and not knowing what or who you are walking into.

"Could be sharing with junkies, alcoholics, thugs, whatever"

Although shared housing can get one off the streets, it comes with its own difficulties.

"they don’t assess you good enough. If they assess people properly what each person’s needs were, maybe if they were drug addicts, alcoholics, people in recovery. If they assess them properly and house them in the right house it would have been alright. Pointless housing someone who has just left rehab or in recovery in a shared house where there are loads of alcoholics and druggies; You don’t want that do yer"

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I couldn’t help but wonder what he would have gone through at the time of finding out that he got a room and then have the realisation that this might not be all he had hoped. Is the grass always greener on the other side?

Before moving from this place, Paul was robbed of close to £1,000 of catering equipment, including a Japanese knife set worth £160.00. He felt that the place he was staying and the police showed little interest. It made me question an incident I had been through during lockdown – someone came into my home and stole my work laptop while leaving a souvenir in the downstairs toilet (no joke) and during that time, the police were not interested. Was it because no one was hurt or because they assumed my laptop would be covered by work or insurance? Blasé comments between friends that if this incident had happened to someone of elite status, they would have fingerprinted or something…but nothing. So if it just comes down to paperwork and nothing really being taken seriously what would it have been like for Paul? After this, Paul moved a further 3 times due to damp, mould, sharing with hardcore addicts and dealers as well as the guarantee of food theft. He now resides in Cumbria.

I was still curious to the reasons why Paul ended up sleeping on the streets. After all, he had lived on so many including Manchester, Oldham, Stockport, Rochdale & Blackpool so I tried again. He went on to say that his story began with losing his job, rent arrears, leading to heroin; Admittedly he lost all hope. The government had sanctioned his job seekers and housing benefit for 6 months which didn’t even cover drug money and in the end, attended court where a judge agreed that he didn’t quite understand how someone who has zero coming in pay for anything; He was evicted.

While on the streets, Paul was not only physically and verbally attacked by passers-by but also recalled an incident with a police officer. The officer walked by called out: “a bum” to which Paul reacted, in his words angrily by questioning the comment: “why are you calling me a bum, I’m going to college”. We’ve all done it, gotten triggered by a comment because in actual fact we are genuinely trying our hardest to which we believe we are capable of, that frustration when someone puts you down about it and to top it off coming from an authority figure who is meant to care for citizens rather than casual digs. The officers went on their way to a chicken shop with their riot van left open. 30 grease-filled minutes later they were to come out to find that someone had raided the van, taken the doors and wheels off and all items were placed in another riot van parked in front. Was it Paul or a dose of karma? I’ll leave that to your imagination.

Not everyone living on the street is there for the same reason, ranging from relationship abuse, family, and finances to substances.

"they are all there for different reasons. Not all there for the same reason. Most people say ‘oh they are just bums’. No, they are not. They come from all different types of backgrounds & reasons and sometimes when you get onto the street you give up, you don’t care so you get into drugs to get away from the pain. It’s how I got into heroin cos thought why not – heroin is cheap – 3 for £25"

Heroin is known as one of the most addictive substances so understandably after one hit the user is craving more and for as little as £25 it’s no surprise they use this to keep warm, take a break from their twirling mind, escape from their present life. The thing is, we all do it. We all have our vices – drink, drugs, sex, food, shopping, plastic surgery, social media. The difference is that these people don’t even have spare change for that 90p water bottle from Lidl.

I’m happy to write that Paul is off the drugs. How? Willpower, self-belief and loving himself enough to see him through.

"Like most things, it’s mind over matter. You have to want it. Depends on the person. If you are ready to stop it then you can do it. You gotta keep motivated and keep people around you who motivate you. Start separating yourself from certain individuals"

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We find ourselves clinging onto relationships so we aren’t alone or dealing with our own demons or made to feel that we are somewhat lost whereas, in fact, it is exactly what we need. I felt inspired by Paul that even though he went through a different level of loneliness to most, he saw his truth. He needed to strip away even more. He removed himself from individuals that were continuing down the path they were currently on. He chose to be with himself and really feel into discovering his worth to believe and make hope a reality. He received comments such as “you aren’t going to get a burger van. How you gonna do that? You need money for that”. He truly believes he can and he is by taking steps of utilising money into his burger van instead of on drugs. He put £800 towards a burger van and is slowly working towards getting licences, permits and an upgrade to drive a tow.

"It is about changing your mindset. Your outlook"

Needless to say, Paul is extremely determined, passionate and has an innate self-belief that he can live the life he chooses. He genuinely would rather be homeless and alone than around people that bring him down or insinuate that his ideas are unrealistic.

Paul told me that typically beggars use money for drugs whereas the individuals who have no home are the ones that sit quietly – by having a regular conversation you could find out for yourself if they are telling the truth or not – do they change their name or story at each conversation for example. He taught me that a mobile phone is considered a necessity for a homeless person. With the digital world at the forefront, how else can they claim their benefits? How else can they contact the jobcentre or ring for a doctor/ ambulance? They charge devices in day centres, libraries and limit their usage.

There is such hype on individuality at the moment and recognising that we aren’t conformed into a box and yet the benefits system is not on a case by case basis. Paul feels there could be better monitoring on how individuals spend their benefits, perhaps less for drug users and more for the ones who are actively seeking help & further in their healing journey. Then again, it isn’t advisable to go cold turkey with drugs so that in itself would require managing.

Paul dreams of his van business to use all homemade fresh produce and create his own burger sauce. Wants to bring back Pie, Mash (eel) Liquor – an old fashioned UK dish. Selection of different pies with mash potatoes (his eyes lit up at this). Wants to make his own pastries, liquor sauce etc. Of course, I asked if he would cater for vegans to which he said yes 🙂 The plan is to attend music, food & drink festivals, gay pride & then head abroad to learn more about various food cultures from their origins. Eventually, experiencing Route 66 and settling in California.

You can catch Paul on:

Facebook: Living on the road

Insta: @schofield182

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Photo by Eric Ward

Laura was my first interview. As we sat down on an area of grass hidden behind a bus stop, my nervous system began the battle – here I was, with no idea what I was doing, how to navigate the conversation, what to ask and whether could I cope with anything she shares and yet opposite me was a girl who some would call timid and yet she agreed to sit with a stranger & have this chat in case it could help anyone in a similar position – she was willing to face herself by telling her story.

Laura is open with a sweet demeanor. Bright blonde hair, which she dyed at school because she found out that the boy she had a crush on in the year above fancied blondes; 14 years later and they are still together. The couple has no fixed address and mix between street & hostel sleeping.

Laura’s homeless story begins with her mum’s new boyfriend losing his job as well as being a user and seller of coke while also introducing Laura to the substance at 17. Laura informed her mum that her partner was requesting sexual favors but she was not believed which led her to live with her boyfriend, Tony, and his mum. Sadly, Tony’s mum passed 3 years ago, on Christmas day, and with no official paperwork in his name, their home was no longer theirs.

In order to survive, Tony and Laura sell The Big Issue and Dope magazines. Money earned from sales goes towards renting a hostel, with rates starting from £12.50 a night. Failing to obtain this means the couple will be up all night, constantly on the move to avoid getting approached, harassed, or attacked.

"People just think you are there through fault of your own or if you are homeless you automatically take drugs or smoke"

Being able to rent a hostel not only takes the couple out of dangerous situations but also gives them the tools to find & keep work. Having been let go from Morrisons due to the circumstances of being homeless has taught Laura the importance of consistent stability & the privilege of being able to wash, clean clothes & money to get to work. Laura’s dream is to find a job to experience safety, security, and independence, allowing her the time and space to complete her law studies. 

"As a woman, we get judged more by society and a woman is expected to look a certain way"

It’s known that a change in our surroundings changes our state. Living on the street meant that Laura had to find her armour, her thicker skin. She, in her words, became colder, and yet I saw a strong, sweet, shy, responsible & hopeful girl. I saw a girl who lives by “you can’t let others change you as a person” – something so many of us are blinded by. Smiling away while telling me that she is lucky. Lucky that she has a strong bond & trust with Tony.

"If you are gonna do something, do it with an open heart & kindheartedly"

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Laura explained to me that there isn’t an expectation to receive money but that it does hurt when given with backhanded remarks.

False hope is something we are all aware of – that broken sentence; Promise. Think back to a time you believed in someone and yourself in trusting another’s word. Maybe that fuck boy (or girl), mum, dad? What did it feel like knowing that it never existed in the first place? You may question why but for Laura and friends, humanity is questioned.

To have to sit in the same place praying and hoping that this 1 person who said they will be back, comes back. Questioning whether to stretch their legs or try another location. What if this person keeps their word and comes back? What if this person completes the £12.50 required for a hostel stay? What if this person comes back with food? What if the person who said they would come back from the ATM or shop kept their promise? What if you kept your promise?

Be open to Laura & yourself. Acknowledge her existence without the double-edged sword or lie to make yourself feel better. Be kind. Be kind by speaking your truth. Be kind by saying “sorry, I can’t help today”.

Photo by Miaa

Tony, Laura’s boyfriend

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Photo by Josh Lu

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What you are about to read is by no means a conventional homeless story. 

Josh began his nomadic life after a long-term relationship ended. Nomadic life for many is the dream. It portrays freedom of life, time, responsibilities and of course allows you to travel. In many cases it offers financial freedom too and although Josh admittedly is in a privileged position, this does not take away from him missing the feeling of ‘home’. 

Generally, the term homelessness is perceived as someone not having a structural home along with an image of someone who lives on the street, but there is so much to it. It is so complex. How many of us have said “I’m going home” when the place you reside in does not actually feel like home? 

Perhaps love and home are so interconnected because it is actually ‘one’. Josh and I spoke in depth about feeling at home, describing it as a sense of belonging, connection and love. Love is not logical or, so I have been told, it is a feeling; “you just know”, and that is why it is scary because you don’t use your logic to decide if you are in love, you use your logic to decide if you are going to accept it, deny it or even talk yourself out of it entirely.

“There’s a quiet strength that comes with the ability to accept, be content, and find peace – despite the circumstance”

Contentment is a state of satisfaction and happiness with one’s present moment situation, without the desire for more or different things. It is a feeling of peace with oneself and one’s circumstances, and gratitude for what one has. Contentment is not dependent on external circumstances or material possessions, but rather on one's internal state of mind and attitude towards life. It is a state of mind that is characterised by a sense of peace, joy, and gratitude, and it allows people to experience happiness and fulfilment in their daily lives. Cultivating contentment involves focusing on the positive aspects of life, practicing gratitude, and letting go of the need for constant change or improvement. It is a valuable quality that can help people to live more fulfilling and satisfying lives, regardless of their external circumstances. This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t desire, crave or be inspired to achieve more, but there is a blurry fine line of how we humans view and action this. 

“Right here just isn’t enough. We need something else, something more. Another snack, another smoke, another swipe – anything to escape the present. It happens when we’re bored, but especially when we’re in pain. Sitting still wasn’t good enough, so I started traveling. But after a year and a half, my intentions faded. I was going through the motions because I had no lease, nowhere calling me home, and nowhere I belonged…I guess it depends on what your soul needs at the moment. Don’t we want it all? I haven’t made up my mind”

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What does it mean to have it all? 

The phrase "having it all" is often used to describe the idea of achieving success and happiness in all areas of life, such as career, relationships, personal growth, health, and wealth. However, the definition of "having it all" can vary greatly depending on an individual's values, goals, and aspirations.

For some people, "having it all" may mean reaching the pinnacle of their career, having a happy family, and being financially secure. For others, it may mean having freedom and flexibility in their schedule, pursuing their passions, and traveling the world. Still, for others, it may mean finding inner peace, contentment, and meaning in life. Whereas for the homeless it could be a nutritious meal, a bed for the night, a simple hello, getting a job or full time accommodation. 

Ultimately, the concept of "having it all" is subjective and personal, and what it means to one person may be different from what it means to another. It is important to define success and happiness based on one's own values and priorities, rather than trying to live up to external expectations or societal norms.

“But as I got further and further from home, it felt like losing a game of tug of war. You want to hold on, but you have to let go. I was starting to miss the feeling of belonging”

Perhaps this is saying we as individuals are moving further and further away from ourselves. We are so consumed by outside factors including one that is now common; to want to go against societal norms and not be placed in a box, that it actually blindsides us into segregating into further boxes without noticing that these too are boxes themselves. 

“It doesn’t matter if I’m a decent guy on my travels, at Burning Man, or on retreat. The real measure of who you are takes place when you return home”

Regardless of our stories and experiences, past and present, who we are and how we feel when home alone with just our thoughts is the core foundation. If we are able to feel peace within that, we are able to let go of control, and in some cases, any triggers that may occur. 

“I think home is a place where I feel like I belong, it's a place that is familiar to me and I'm familiar to it. Like the people around you go home, there’s that ‘hey it's Josh’, you know you're back home with your people. And your environment also is something that you're familiar with. Oh, that's my towel, my candle, whatever that is”

Josh may have picturesque landscapes and the smell of clean air and the open sea to distract him but for someone who is privileged enough to choose which environment, Airbnb or hotel to lay his head feels like this, is it any wonder there are a number of homeless people that return to the streets? Be it from drugs, prison or abusive relationships? Their world on the street is somehow safer, with a sense of community and belonging, than what we consider a roof over our head. Luther Vandross touches on this through his song, A House is not a Home: 

“a chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sittin' there

But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home

When there's no one there to hold you tight

And no one there you can kiss goodnight”

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How many of us take for granted being able to go home after our day, drop our bags, strip, lay on the rug, sofa, bed and sigh? If you take a moment to be with that sigh, you’ll notice how your body drops into an internal state of relaxation and as my Yin teacher has drilled into me, sighing is good for the liver which in Chinese medicine represents anger, resentment, frustration etc

“you do miss it. It’s been two and a half years where I don't have the feeling of coming back at the end of the day. And having that sigh like oh, I can just relax. I mean I can and I do get to relax and stuff. It’s not for any long period of time. It's not sustaining. It's maybe temporary but I think the people of it is the thing I missed the most like having a community, having my friends, having support, stability, people to grow alongside with” 

I once heard that ‘connection is the currency of everything’. Josh’s privileged story shows that it doesn’t matter if you are super rich, famous, homeless, emotionally guarded or what we look like physically; What matters is pursuing a real connection, that “I know you” because without that, the human experience is null and void bar material possessions, quick fixes or ships passing by. 

Josh’s nomad dream may have been short-lived compared to a lifetime living on the streets but if we lived in a world where everyone is accommodated equally then perhaps we wouldn’t need to fight against societal norms. If we could achieve such a world, we could find that a baseline of safety and security is embedded within people from birth. Thus, creating space from the offset for acceptance and worth. 

Keep up with Josh’s journey: 

https://www.joshlu.com/

https://www.instagram.com/probablyjosh/

Interested in Yin or sighing:

Contact Sara Fakih at: 

https://www.instagram.com/sara_fakih/

https://www.instagram.com/sambaddhayoga/

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