Holding Hope of a Promise
Laura's Tale of Survival, Resilience, and the Unspoken Struggles of Homelessness
Photo by Eric Ward
Laura was my first interview. As we sat down on an area of grass hidden behind a bus stop, my nervous system began the battle – here I was, with no idea what I was doing, how to navigate the conversation, what to ask and whether could I cope with anything she shares and yet opposite me was a girl who some would call timid and yet she agreed to sit with a stranger & have this chat in case it could help anyone in a similar position – she was willing to face herself by telling her story.
Laura is open with a sweet demeanor. Bright blonde hair, which she dyed at school because she found out that the boy she had a crush on in the year above fancied blondes; 14 years later and they are still together. The couple has no fixed address and mix between street & hostel sleeping.
Laura’s homeless story begins with her mum’s new boyfriend losing his job as well as being a user and seller of coke while also introducing Laura to the substance at 17. Laura informed her mum that her partner was requesting sexual favors but she was not believed which led her to live with her boyfriend, Tony, and his mum. Sadly, Tony’s mum passed 3 years ago, on Christmas day, and with no official paperwork in his name, their home was no longer theirs.
In order to survive, Tony and Laura sell The Big Issue and Dope magazines. Money earned from sales goes towards renting a hostel, with rates starting from £12.50 a night. Failing to obtain this means the couple will be up all night, constantly on the move to avoid getting approached, harassed, or attacked.
"People just think you are there through fault of your own or if you are homeless you automatically take drugs or smoke"
Being able to rent a hostel not only takes the couple out of dangerous situations but also gives them the tools to find & keep work. Having been let go from Morrisons due to the circumstances of being homeless has taught Laura the importance of consistent stability & the privilege of being able to wash, clean clothes & money to get to work. Laura’s dream is to find a job to experience safety, security, and independence, allowing her the time and space to complete her law studies.
"As a woman, we get judged more by society and a woman is expected to look a certain way"
It’s known that a change in our surroundings changes our state. Living on the street meant that Laura had to find her armour, her thicker skin. She, in her words, became colder, and yet I saw a strong, sweet, shy, responsible & hopeful girl. I saw a girl who lives by “you can’t let others change you as a person” – something so many of us are blinded by. Smiling away while telling me that she is lucky. Lucky that she has a strong bond & trust with Tony.
"If you are gonna do something, do it with an open heart & kindheartedly"
Laura explained to me that there isn’t an expectation to receive money but that it does hurt when given with backhanded remarks.
False hope is something we are all aware of – that broken sentence; Promise. Think back to a time you believed in someone and yourself in trusting another’s word. Maybe that fuck boy (or girl), mum, dad? What did it feel like knowing that it never existed in the first place? You may question why but for Laura and friends, humanity is questioned.
To have to sit in the same place praying and hoping that this 1 person who said they will be back, comes back. Questioning whether to stretch their legs or try another location. What if this person keeps their word and comes back? What if this person completes the £12.50 required for a hostel stay? What if this person comes back with food? What if the person who said they would come back from the ATM or shop kept their promise? What if you kept your promise?
Be open to Laura & yourself. Acknowledge her existence without the double-edged sword or lie to make yourself feel better. Be kind. Be kind by speaking your truth. Be kind by saying “sorry, I can’t help today”.
