Selfish in the Right Direction

Stop Calling Avoidance Maturity

When people just think it’s mindset work.

Mindset work is the mind.
The mind is a place of logic that has come from past experience.

Although your present self comprehends that something happening right now is not the thing you have been through but your physical body separates from itself.

Your chest dipped inwards
Your heart has flown out of your body.
You are a complete shell of yourself in an environment that is “safe”. 

Something has happened within you but you don’t want to cause a “scene”.

You know the ppl there are unable to hold you - don’t get me wrong there is empathy & compassion but in a way where the depths of your ancestors and your childself is all currently present? 

This isn’t tangible.
It’s not where you can tap or stroke myself out of it.

It’s stories within air - when was the last time you truly felt air, what it’s saying, where it is in time & space?

It’s the hollowness of life itself & yet consciousness.

To feel is to be in tune.
Can you be in tune with the story your mind is playing because your body is having a reaction to it. 

The story your mind is currently making up because of a past experience, a rememberance of when you split yourself into pieces so you didn’t feel all of the grief & pain that you experienced unnecessarily.

I was reminded this week that humans are selfish.
That we only care about ourselves and this really does break me.

In fact, last week I cried through grief at how selfish humans are, consciously & not.

This reminder came from a marketing chat.

At a mastermind day, my chest sunk and I greyed out as if I’d be on herorin for days.

I decided to be selfish.
I left the group where my body felt like it was not only being threatened but on the receiving end of that threat.

I choose to move my paintbrush in another direction. 

To me, the selfish thing to do was to suppress it and carry on like everything is “normal”. Change you mindset, move on & carry on. 

One of my wishes in this world is for more people to choose to be selfish, to looking and feeling into their triggers because to me, not looking at your triggers from body & mind is ultimately the most selfish act of all - to yourself and another.

My mind is the problem until it isn’t.
My body is the problem until it isn’t.

Neither are the problem until I own this is part parcel of being my own artist.

Life is my canvas and every feeling is a piece of art to that canvas.

The good, the bad & the ugly.