Valentine's Day: Beyond Roses and Romance

Navigating the Division of Tradition & Personal Meaning

Photo by Jamie Street

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What is romance?

I google.

Top hit:

noun

1. a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.

   "I had a thirst for romance"

2. a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life.

   "the romance of the sea"

The right-hand side of my page looked like this:

I scoffed.

The first thing I read felt magical and then within the same eyeline the other made me cringe. It may be Wikipedia but it makes a valid point.

Romance or romantic love here is the same thing. I can see the ‘or’ but it’s the same definition, a synonym.

and yet, in reality, we have made romance this thing: flowers & chocolates but from/ with another.

I’ve always had a like-dislike relationship with Valentine’s Day.

I dislike the commercialism of it.                                                                                              I dislike having witnessed people falling into V day because they have to not because they want to.                                                                                                                                 I dislike having witnessed people doing this for 1 day rather than it being a regular occurrence between the people involved.                                                                                 I dislike how the day is more geared towards romantic, being in a relationship love. 

On the other hand…

I like how it can remind people to take a moment and appreciate the realness of their relationship.                                                                                                                                  I like that it encourages people to make an effort if they don’t usually.                               I like how the usual miserable office people have a secret glint in their eyes because they know they are guaranteed some kind of action.                                                              I like how the vibe in a space always feels lighter on V day, be it in a corporate office in a tense meeting, the gym, the bus driver, coffee shop, or at your parents, which by the way is our first biggest lessons in and about love.

Although I have never celebrated Valentine’s Day in the traditional sense, there is something about it that I love.

I love that every year, without fail I will acknowledge it. I will message my friends, single or not to say Happy Valentine’s Day. In my corporate days, I’d send an email around with the offer of homemade banana bread.

It has never occurred to me that this day is anything except a remembrance that I want my every day to be of the lightness, mystery, playful cheekiness flirt of remote romance between me and life.

A very special friend of mine once told me in her single days that she sent herself Valentine’s Day flowers. I didn’t think much of it at the time but now it makes me smile knowing that she did that for herself.

Leave a comment letting me know what Valentine’s Day brings for you and what you do every year for yourself ♥️